A Brief Reflection on (Im)Patience
A friend texted me today to ask how I was feeling about a relationship dynamic in my life. I responded that it was somewhat unclear still, and she asked whether there was any reason it needed to be resolved or if I could just “hang out” in that space of not being sure.
Ugh.
But that’s exactly what I’d been thinking about it: there was no rush, no external or internal reason to reach any conclusion, no need to shift the dynamics.
Things can continue as they are, slowly adjusting, and eventually clarity would come.
I texted her back: there are two kinds of patience.
I can be patient when I’m just literally waiting for something — delayed gratification is not that hard for me.
I’m completely fine waiting until X day for something to happen: a trip to start, a milestone to hit, a meeting or call, whatever.
But when I’m required to be patient in circumstances where things are unknown and unclear, when I don’t know when and how they will shift, I have a harder time.
I am Type A af.
I like to solve my problems, I like to find solutions, I like to clarify confusing situations and feelings. So just having to sit and wait it out and just… not know, not resolve it, not do anything — that’s the challenge.
But of course… that’s patience.
I turned to my dear old friend, the dictionary (and thesaurus) to see what it had to tell me about the nuances of patience.
(If you don’t already use it, there’s a Dictionary app on every Mac & I consult it daily.)
Italics below are mine, to indicate what resonated with me.
The Definition
patience |ˈpāSHəns|
noun
1 the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset
Middle English: from Old French, from Latin patientia, from patient- ‘suffering,’ from the verb path
The Synonyms
patience
noun
1 she tried everyone’s patience: forbearance, tolerance, restraint, self-restraint, stoicism; calmness, composure, equanimity, imperturbability, phlegm, understanding, indulgence.
2 a task requiring patience: perseverance, persistence, endurance, tenacity, assiduity, application, staying power, doggedness, determination, resolve, resolution, resoluteness.
The synonyms of sense 2 are where I’m fine most of the time. It’s sense 1 where I’ve got room to grow — you know, tolerating a delay or suffering with composure. Like an adult.
Basically, to be “imperturbable” — what a word! — the opposite of our current president.
The Wikipedia Entry
Patience
This article is about the state of being.
“Impatience” redirects here.
Patience (or forbearing) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on negative annoyance/anger; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can have before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.
Antonyms include hastiness and impetuousness.
Katherine works remotely while she travels the world — on the road since June 2014. If you liked this piece, please give it a ❤ Thank you!
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